First, a brief overview of who I am. I am 26 and I am a mother of two. I've been through more life experiences than some 80+ year-olds however I consider them life lessons more than anything. Because of these life experiences, I am who I have become. I love deeply. I experience intense emotion. I get bored easily, but I don't fidget. I talk things out as soon as they come to my mind. I'm not a fighter. I believe everyone is an artist and art criticism upsets me. The world is covered in countless forms of art. I believe there should be no judgement on the quality of an artist's work for even if one person admires it, it is still considered... ART. If I take a vacation, I use it to do NOTHING.
As for more about me, reading through any of my blogs should give people an idea if they are truly interested.
Recently, I started a tattoo I have been wishing for, for a very long time. It is a phoenix, ranging all the way from the top of my shoulder, down my side, and reaching to the midway point of my thigh. My boyfriend, whom I love very much is not a very artsy individual in any sense. He is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but he is not interested in much to do with art except music mostly. Anyway, I have not been around many people interested in art besides my photographer roommate and for this tattoo I have visited the studio three times so far. In these three visits, the outline of my phoenix was completed in a japanese hybrid style. It is beautiful and I adore Jonathan (my tattoo artist's) work. For this tattoo, I have been naked with the acception of one leg for the entire time Jonathan has been working on me. His hands are warm, his views are passionate, his art is beautiful, and his compassion for others runs deep. I don't know if this crush is because of his obligatory treatment of clients to keep them coming back or not, but the crush is there. I've got it bad, and I've got a problem. I'm not a cheater, so this is not the problem. But I have a habit of telling everyone exactly how I feel as to not burden myself with silly secrets. I want to say something, but I would be opening a can of worms that I just should NOT open. And you know what? I have had a habit in the past of getting a crush on nearly any man that would give me a lot of attention. I've never been able to distinguish the difference between friend-like and boyfriend-like.
Not that I should have to explain at this point but I DO have "daddy issues" to confirm your speculations. These Daddy issues only consist of divorces, leaving/entering my life, not sexual abuse or any of that.
Now, all of the sudden, my boyfriend seems dull in a way... my love for him is absolutely there still, but I feel stale. I feel like I need that "new girlfriend" phase back - you know, when a guy is so happy you've decided to choose him that he showers you with attention and can't keep his hands off of you? I feel as if my love has lost it's potency for him. He doesn't get excited about a whole lot, you know? I don't doubt his love for me at all, but it's not the same. Why does that phase end?
Ah well, I'm just feeling restless as of late. I'm in a slump. It's not a trait I usually take on - being an attention whore. But there's just something that sounds enticing about getting a bunch of attention right now.
